Heather’s story

19 Sep Heather’s story

I was 16 when I gave birth to Josh. He passed away the day after. At 19 I gave birth to Jacob, he also passed away the next day.

This year Joshua should have been 28 and Jacob should have been 25. I miss them as much now as I ever did. Wondering what they would have looked like, if they may have kids of their own by now.

Even having my two daughters who I got to bring home didn’t fill the gap left by them. I used to think I would “get over it” one day. That I would magically not be sad or angry about not watching them grow up. After years of pain that didn’t go away, I started the journey of working through my feelings.

I contacted Sands and tried support groups, always feeling disconnected as I had been so young compared to others. It’s hard being a teenage parent let alone a teenage parent whose children pass away.

Years of therapy now means I am more peaceful about missing my sons. My daughters know all about their brothers, we talk about them often. That’s how we keep them alive.

There are many organisations that offer support to anyone affected by pregnancy and baby loss.

Sands supports anyone affected by pregnancy loss or the death of a baby and works to save babies’ lives. Contact their Helpline via phone (0808 154 3332) or email, or visit their Support Groups online or via Zoom.